• Frank R. Stockton, the novelist,
bought a chicken farm with the
royalties from one of his most suc-
cessful books. Appropriately, he
decided to name his chickens in
honor of his friends in the literary
world.

His friends knew that they had
namesakes on the farm, so when
Mary Mapes Dodge visited there
one day she asked Stockton:

"Wouldn't you like to take me
around to the hen house and show

me Mary Mapes Dodge?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't," apologized Stockton. "The strangest thing happened to
her—she turned out to be Thomas Bailey Aldrich!"

—Webb B. Garrison

•	A bashful young actor and his charming girl friend were sitting on opposite
sides of the sofa.

"Do you believe in telepathy?" the young man wanted to know.

"Good gracious, no!" she replied. "If there was anything in it, you wouldn't be
sitting where you are."

—Clifford Warren

•	"What is your age?" the magistrate asked. "Remember, you are under oath."
"Twenty-one years and some months," the woman replied.

"Be specific," the magistrate urged. "How many months?"

"One hundred and eight."

—Ireland’s Own

•	"Now," began the architect, "if you'll give me a general idea of the kind of
house you need—"

"I want something," replied the husband, "to go with a door knocker my wife
brought home from Java."

—Meath Chronicle

•	The quack was selling an elixir which he declared would make men live to a
great age.

"Look at me!" he shouted. "Hale and hearty and I'm over three hundreds years
old!"

"Is he really that old?" a listener asked the man's assistant.

"Really, I can't say," replied the assistant. "I've only worked for him for one
hundred years."	—Healthways

•	The class, composed mainly of veterans, was taking a psychology exam. One
bright boy, who literally knew all the answers, began tapping them out in Morse
code.

Seconds later, an answering tapping came from the instructor's desk: "Too bad,
boys; I was in the Army too!"

—Mundelein College Review

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