29
MOOSEHEART MAGAZINE
AEROPLANE
Boys, we have a real Aeroplane
because,-----------^uld(
. , Powerful motive power carries it nKtatoff the ground. Looks fine sail, ing in the air. Strongly built, will last *°a? tune. Length 23 in. Wing spread ¿1 in. Free for selling 20 packages Bingo Perfumed Ironing Wax at 10a each. Oroer today. Send no money.
1Bingo CO. Dept• 568 Binghamton,N.Y.
From the Diary of a Glutton’s Stomach—By Brother Simon KatzofJ, A.M. M.D., Bridgeport, Conn.
YOURFreeSuit
Take this tine Made-to-Measure Suit and don’t pay us one cent for it.
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If you have a little spare time, *rt you can easily make from (yj
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and besides that be the best- ' dressed man in your town. It’s an opportunity you cannot afford to overlook. Don’t delay a minute.
Write for this Big Offer at Once
Drop us a line or send us your name on a postal card and we will send you absolutely Free, our wonderful style book, containing dozens of samples and fashion plates to choose from.
Write Now. Everything sent Free and postage prepaid.
THE PROGRESS TAILORING CO.
Dept. 376	CHICAGO
7:05 P. M. The family goes to see a “Movie”, and of course, I’m taken along.
9:10 P.M. A cheery smash before starting for home. Nobody wants to walk home. Trolley ride.
9:45 P.M. A piece of blackberry pie comes my way on arriving home.
I got so desperate that I revolted.
9:46 P.M. I"return the pie.
9:47 P.M. I return the cherry smash.
9:48 P.M. I return the potatoes, pickles, cheese, pudding and cake.
9:49 P.M. Then I send back the gravy.
9:50 P.M. My owner’s wife sends for a doctor and says:	“There must
have been sometthing wrong with the malted milk or the ice cream, for it surely couldn’t have been the good, delicious gravy.” In the meanwhile,
I am in convulsions and nobody seems to care.
10:30 P.M. The doctor arrives.
10:33 P.M. The doctor (to my owner): Did you eat much today ?
My owner:	Oh! No, Doctor; I eat
very little; never more than twice a day.
The doctor:	How is your appetite ?
My owner:	Very bad; I seldom[!:
desire food.
The doctor: exercise ?
My owner:
Do you have enough
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Furniture	Lamps	Linen3	Cax*pet
Carpets Watches Comforters Sweepers Rugs __	Diamonds	Blankets	Graphophonea
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Mail penny postal card today for your free copy
_lPlegel.Mau.^tem(g•
1394 West 35th Street, Chicago
I should say so!. I have all I can , do at he office. Am worried half thi time with the stenographer’s mistakes and the customers.
The doctor (slowly and somewhat hesitatingly):	Well, 'er, eh, I believe,
then what you really need is more rest. In other words, a vacation once in a while, which might increase your appetite, drink more water, eat plenty of nourishing food and don’t overwork. You should get this prescription filled.
My owner:	By the way, Doctor;
do you believe a little smoking would hurt me sometimes?
The doctor (about to leave); How many cigarettes do you smoke a day"
My owner:	I never smoke “coffin
nails”, doctor; I smoke the best “Havanas”; only six or seven a day.
The doctor: Well, reduce the amount and don’t inhale them, and don’t drink much stimulants.
My owner:	Oh, Doctor, I don’t
drink at all except a quart or so of Scotch, weekly.
The doctor:	A little too much, sir.
My owner:	How much do I owe
you, Doctor?
The doctor: all right.
My owner: it is.
The doctor:	Good night.
My owner: Good night, Doc, thanks!
Five dollars will he All right, Doctor, here
What a cold day! Hope I won’t be overfed again this morning. If I am, I’ll just send hack the excess.
9:05 A.M. Have just been introduced to a pungent glass' of Scotch whiskey. How it bums me now! Yet, my boss shakes with glee. I can hear him say, “I don’t feel like eating much today”. Oh! I’m getting dizzy and smothered with large quantities of nicotine from these cigars!
9:20 A.M. Two large cups of strong coffee just came down the “Food Elevator”, while my owner was reading the morning paper. Large lumps of breakfast bacon and hot biscuits are now coming forward. I wish he would chew it a little more. If he only knew how much unnecessary work I’m caused in that way! And come to think of it, today is “meatless day”. Wonder if I’ll have some rest now?
9:50 A. M. Am hurriedly brought into an ice cream parlor while my owner was waiting for the car. A nut sundae and a glass of ice water just arrived. Oh! How chilly I feel now! That isn’t enough for me, he believes, so five cents’ worth of salted peanuts is purchased, on which I’m being fed again.
10:40 A. M. A glass of ice water. How I wish he would breathe thru his nostrils instead of swallowing air. Why should my boss ignore his nostrils ?
12:10 Noon. My owner decides he isn’t very hungry, so he sends me down merely a chocolate malted milk with an egg and ice cream in it. Another cold shock for my already weakened nerves.
After finding a few more peanuts in his pocket, he sends them down. I’m again gasping for breath from the effects of another “Havana”.
2:45 P.M. For about an hour, I have not been bothered, but suddenly daughter comes in with a large box of candy, and of course papa doesn’t neglect me at all.
3:55 P.M. Another cigar.
4:20 P.M. I can hear him grumble. “The malted• milk must have been sour this morning.”
5:15 P. M. Am invited to have a drink as “an appetizer” before going home. So a Scotch highball is suddenly spilled down on me.
6:05 P.M. How I ache when I am brought into the dining room for dinner. I hear my owner brag about not eating more than twice a day. (He should have said “Once”, for he begins in the morning and ends at midnight).
6:15 P. M. On the table I see Veal, mashed potatoes, pickles soaked in vinegar, fresh bread and butter, pepper, mustard, gravy, cheese, soup, fish, pudding, coffee, sponge-cake and other such stuff.
Young America
Of this world’s goods, the better part, The sweet reminder of our past,
The die in which the future’s cast.
The puzzling actor in the home,
An individual hippodrome,
A restless mass of energy.
The problem of humanity,
A boundless ocean filled with cheer, That makes life worth living here.
Huntley, Illinois.
This is the impression of one who has no children of his own, but who recognizes in the boys and girls of to day the same old traits that existed in his boyhood days, and the same natural wholesomeness that you must find in the army of young Americans that hop and buzz around Mooseheart.
C. H. STEPHENS.
rnrr DIAMOND r n L.L. RING OFFER
Just to advertise our famous Hawaiian im. diamonds—the greatest discovery _ the world has ever known. We will send absolutely free this 14k gold f. ring, set with a l-2k Hawaiian im. diamond--m beautiful ring box postage paid. Pay postmaster $1.38 C. O. D. charges to cover postage, boxing, advertising, handling, etc. If you can tell it from a real diamond return and money refunded. Only 10,000 given away. Send no money. Answer quick. Send size of finger.
KRAUTH & REED, Dept. 11
Masonic Temple, Chicago
TRIAL
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A Coil of Springs, A bag of hops,
A spinning wheel that never stops,
An ever bubbling spring of hope,
A sweet toned human caliope,
A battery, with sizzling spark,
A live interrogation mark.
A mount of mischief, mostly clean,
A scrapper that is rarely mean,
A medley of laughs and kicks,
A soul inspiring box of tricks,
The cutting edge of nature’s knife, The heart that pumps the blood of life. The busy bee of flowering June, Whose buzz is never out of tune,
An ever yielding mine of mirth,
The joy producer of the earth,
A pleasant taste upon the tongue,
Of age, that helps to keep it young, The joy of each real human heart,
The
SKin!
A Real Cure At Last!
The best ingredient known to medical 6C§r
ence in the treatment of skin diseases.
D. D. D.
Prescription
A soothing•, healing liquid wash that sinks through th£ pores and gives instant relief. Eczema, Psoriasis, ringworm, bad leg, pimples, scales or crusts will yield to its cooling, healing effect. Unlike salves, D. D. D. sinks through the pores, kills and washes out disease germs. Salves merely clog the pores and encourage the rapid growth of germs. D. D. D. leaves the pores open to receive nature’s healing aid. Try it today.
Testimonial
I ne?er hesitate to recommend a really meritorious remedy for any ailments peculiar to my fellow beings regardless of professional “ethics,” therefore, I have this to say, that for several years past I have used in my practice a considerable quantity of the D. D. D. Prescription in diseases of the skin and have found it superior in efficacy to any single remedy I have ever used. It is indeed a reliable “standby” in ecezma by relieving at once the intense itching, calming the excited nerves and thereby strengthening the general system.
Whilst this Prescription is soft and soothing to the Inflamed skin it is at the same time a powerful agent, and in my opinion should be used under the supervision of the family physician, especially in obstinate cases.
GEORGE T. RICHARDSON. M. D.
P. S.—Some three years ago I got hold of a terrible case of eczema in a middle aged woman who had spent a large sum of money with specialists to no good purpose. Of course I was anxious to cure this case. I had some knowledge of your Prescription and used it. The result was that my patient began to improve, but other cases came to me and my druggist has sold nearly a hundred bottles through my orders.
I am not seeking any notoriety whatever. Don't care whether my name is in. print or out of it. I only desire to cure my patients and keep a clear conscience.
All druggists sell D. D. D. Ask about it today. Also about D. D. D. soap. Its steady use keeps the skin always pure and healthy.
Trial FREE!
We will send you a liberal bottle of D. D. D., the great skin remedy, absolutely free. It will give you instant relief no matter how long you have suf«• fered. You assume no obligations. .Enclose 10c to orfc postage and packing. Send today.
D. D. D. Laboratories,	Dept.
?345 East Ravens wood Park, Chicago